Day X

What should we say, we burst with excitement and sit on the pulled off bed at Mom’s, because we don’t have an apartment any more. All of our stuff is stored downstairs in the basement (we should have sorted out more) and we hurry to the mailbox for one last check. A letter from the old employer for the employment office has finally arrived, quickly enveloped and send back to the employment office, because we don’t have a job anymore. Thinking through everything again, did we thought of everything, so the last things wander in the 40 liter carry-on luggage backpacks, pulled up and locked up, because we won’t take any more with us for the next – hopefully – 365 days.

It’s a difficult decision. Even the smallest item is evaluated back and forth, how important is it? How practical? How unnecessary? So 5 parts fly out and 1 part goes into the backpack. The feeling is indescribable a mixture of “Finally it’s starting now we’ve been philosophizing about this one day X with all our friends and relatives for months, chewed through everything and it almost seems as if the journey is just a fairy tale we’re always telling, but which never comes true. So FINALLY it starts. We are ready!” Or maybe not? Now we are unemployed and homeless (of course only exaggerated thanks to mum and dad that we were allowed to stay with you 1 1/2 months before departure, that made everything so much easier) is that the right decision to put life in Germany a little on the ice and leave some things like work, apartment, house, belongings behind?

Are we only putting ourselves in situations of danger? Or is it actually the most ingenious decision we could ever have made? Questions about questions that you get asked frequently and that buzz through your head every day, a voice that gets louder and louder all the closer we get to departure.

Surely everyone deals differently with big decisions, since we burn for traveling we are always excited and joyfully even looking extremely forward to weekend city trips. We have experienced moves to other cities and the associated changes of school and job, or getting to know new colleagues and friends – the feeling of uncertainty coupled with one’s own motivation to want to go through is kind of special already. But the feeling before this trip is something completely new and such a Long Island Cocktail from Endorphinen, Dopamin, Noradrenalin and like the whole hormones are called. With the freshly mixed cocktail in the body it finally starts today. Day X has arrived. Of course the food doesn’t go down very well today, the coffee just pushes further up, so we drink a tea and wait until we get to the airport.

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